Thursday, December 9, 2010

Happy Christmas

Spring is sprung, the grass is ris,
I know, I know, I know it is.
I asked my mower man how often to come?
Weekly at least, he said, without a hum.
Oh crikey, I thought, does this guy know me?
I haven’t enough to pay that fee!
I swallowed an answer, what else could I do?
For after all, I can’t afford anyhoo!
I muttered a rumble just to be polite,
I didn’t want the poor bloke to take fright.
Finally I croaked, ‘Perhaps a bit less...
I couldn’t see any need to confess.

Spring is sprung, the grass is ris,
I don’t wonder where the birdies is!
They’ve been at the mulberry tree,
That’s as plain as day to see.
Why all over the path there are signs of shit-
It’s no mystery why there’s heaps of it!
They’ve had the feast I wish I could,
Except, in reality, it would do me no good.
For Christmas is coming, like it or not,
And from my point of view I don’t give a jot.
I wouldn’t mind if it lasted two days,
Perhaps then I could handle as the nerve frays.

Spring is sprung, the grass is ris,
There’s a new place where my belly is.
And now here’s the time I make my defense,
Christmas in Australia doesn’t make any sense,
Just out of hibernation, weighing a ton,
Is not the time for Yuletide fun.
The weather is fertile, the breezes are warm,
The cold front or the other one is creating a storm.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I can only object,
I’ve only one choice and that’s to defect.
I don’t want Christmas, it doesn’t want me,
So why the bloody hell can’t I just be free?

Seriously? HAVE A GOOD ONE!!

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